I’m not my own biggest critic. I should be, but I’m not.
When I was a kid, I would often have teachers, (And my mum, who admittedly was also a teacher) looking at work I’d turned in, and asking me if this was my ‘best work.’ On each and every occasion that it was asked, I could have probably mounted some argument that it was, but I always knew it wasn’t. If my head wasn’t in it, I had a propensity to rush things just to get it out the way.
As I’ve got older, I’ve not always had that oversight. I don’t take my work to people and ask them to validate it. So I’ve had to learn that discipline. Those voices had to find a place to live in my head, and I had to learn to listen to them when they chimed in. Over the festive period, they were shouting loudly at me over the state of Deadline.
They were right of course. The story had flip-flopped a couple of times and was becoming decidedly disjointed. For a while I persevered, expecting to rescue it in the edit, but at some point (half way down the A13 in terms of story) I realised I was running out of road, and that I was in danger of just letting the trilogy fade out without the conclusion it needed.
I could blame that on a host of things. It has been a tumultuous year with a house move in the middle and I’ve never felt as thinly spread at times. Whatever. It wasn’t up to my standards, so I’ve binned huge swathes of it, and I’m bringing it back to what I originally envisioned; a fast paced action thriller which is at the end of the day as fun to read as it was to write.
This won’t mean a big delay, but there will be a delay. I won’t set timescales, this is uncharted territory for me, but I’ll be doubling down to get it done ASAP as my slate is full after with other projects that I need to get onto.
Thanks for the patience, and I look forward to dropping it soon.